#crafting ourselves

[thedaveandkimmershow]

It takes an excessive amount of self-confidence to say "I Do", to mean it, and then to assume it's a done deal. BAM. There's your Forever.

Of course we were young, we were in the throes of young love, and seriously. What more did we need?

So I said "I do", she said "I do" and then.

All hell broke loose.

Much like that book "What To Expect When You're Expecting" there's a metric ton of stuff you're not led to expect when you're teeing up a marriage. For sure there's what you do expect. For sure there's stuff we shoulda expected. And absolutely, uncategorically, without apology, there's stuff that in no way should we have expected.

There's stuff that should not have happened.

And then thirty one years later, here we still are. We definitely bent along the way... but we did not break.

We did not.

Break.

Believe it or not, we were asked as recently as last night by our bartender how you do that. How you last thirty-one years. And in a nod to both the romantics and realists out there, the answer I'm leaning toward is that from Day 1 ( if not sooner) you're actively crafting yourselves into individuals who really are meant for each other. The idea that we were both perfect and perfect for each other as twenty-somethings is simply naive. There's so much growing up as individuals, so much growing you do and continue to do as you gain experience and knowledge.

We are not now, for example, who we were when each of us said "I do". Those versions of us are now preserved in time capsules stashed away in our memories, our writings, our videos, and our photographs.

We were, obviously to each other, within the same ballpark as human beings. We were both creatives. Both photographers. Both writers. Both passionate about our careers. We both shared some of the same habits, humor, and intellectual interests. We had projects that overlapped and friends who overlapped. We had a common view of the world along with opposing views of the world that we declined to make deal-breakers. We had young love, laughter, fun, and chemistry.

And then yeah. In retrospect, even though I don't think this was something we did intentionally, we crafted ourselves into individuals who really are meant for each other and who really can prevail against Time and Circumstance and heinous Plot Twists.

So much of life is having to make The Call without all the information you need. Definitely parts of life spring surprises on you as a couple that are treacherous and breathtaking. You have to learn how to navigate both profound ambiguity and massive emotional turmoil.

Together.

You have to do that together.

And whoever we started out as, each of us, we grew through several iterations of ourselves leading to who we are today. And each of those iterations of Me, each of those iterations of Her, were sufficient to prevail against what we had to prevail against at the times we had to prevail against those things.

Even so, the experiences themselves were brutally messy. The most important thing, though, is that we bent.

But we did not break.

I won't lie. Marriage is the ultimate test of character. There are so many personal and professional abilities you're required to put in play even though you don't have all those abilities when you say "I do" and she says "I do". There's so much you have to improvise, learn on the fly. There's an Everest of things you learn about each other and what you do with that knowledge is the difference between success and failure. Between something you endure and a Life you cherish. Between being stuck and growing up.

Into your best self.

Into your best selves.

Which didn't just happen, by the way.

I know because for thirty-one years she has challenged me and continues to challenge me to be my best self. I did not and do not go quietly into that best self but it's a helluva thing I ended up pursuing that version of Me anyway.

So.

It takes an excessive amount of self-confidence to say "I Do", to mean it, and then to assume it's a done deal. BAM. There's your Forever.

But there you are: we're thirty-one years into this adventure and we are well on our way to Forever.

☺️

[tiny-chubby-bird]

the petrified drow

[meltypancake]

rounding up the pieces i've drawn this past month and documenting my progress :] the project theme is pretty loose, but along the lines of growth / leaving the comfort zone / exploration

prompts are either art related (composition, lighting, study etc.) or entirely based on vibes and i tend to jump between WIPs a lot LOL there's around 80 more drawings on the to-do list now and i'm in relentless pursuit for them 🕺🪩💃

[dreadfutures]

🥺❤️ to old friends renewed

[srmxy]

Love that every app in my phone has an "add stupid fucking bullshit" button now.

[mars-ipan]

in case anyone’s wondering how it’s going i just chose to take my break on the floor (floor time good and i have a little comfy spot) and as i laid down two of my lumbar vertebrae popped just from the tension of my muscles. dear god

[oetscop]

i know you teenagers dont have fully formed brains yet but can you be silly in a way that doesnt inconvenience the 70 y/o man who zones the paint department thanks

[scottapez]

just realized a lot of what i did for myself this morning without even thinking abt it would take like herculean strength & energy from me. like. 2 years ago.

[vividviverrid]

i learned about the devil’s hole pupfish and it made me see the world like a child again

[icannotholdmypen]

I'm sorry are people MAD that other people are reblogging their text posts???? I know there are a lot of new people here but. since when. is that why there has been a rainstorm of likes-only notes around?

the purpose of tumblr is not to be a nicely put shop window. it's community. you see something funny or that you agree with, you reblog it to pass it around. other people see it, if they like it they pass it around as well. and we create an environment for everyone to participate in.

[infizero]

i just watched a video essay about the decline of paper mario and now im sad and mad thinking about paper mario again. can we have a violent overthrowing of nintendo

[insomnianoctem]

My steam hours fell below 10hrs over the course of two weeks and I wanna see how long I can keep it that way >_>

Not a resolution, just a conveniently found goal

[spikeyjo]

I’m about to stop being the bigger person and just telling people hey dipshit go fuck yourself

[hauntedbyyarn]

You changed your username?

The last week of my life has been dominated by me hunting for yarn that I liked and could actually afford and this is not a unique occurrence. I wanted a name update that accurately reflects the state of my interests.

[bugged-candies]

TAG DUMP - PT 2

[bewareofthenewphannie]

#next year dnp crafts: camera pans out of the phaby announcement playing on an old TV from the tit set. dnp are sitting on an old couch#illuminated only by the tv glow. it’s the same place where Slime took place. dans clothes and their hands are soaked in blood but Phil#is wearing white and is visibly (realistically) pregnant. on the floor lay scattered tarot cards from the dnp deck

incredible tags @phantasticphizza

so they DID tag it danandphilcrafts on youtube...which i choose to believe is definitely not just for added views but because it's officially part of that universe